Cheers to Change

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Top and necklace from Bangkok, skirt from Chicwish, bag from Guess and shoes from CMG.

There’s something about big and puffy skirts and tops that make me spazz when I see one. If I’m not wearing a big puffy skirt, then I’d go for a top! It was love at first sight when my eyes landed on this cute white top. The flower detail made it look cuter too. Did I say how much I loved Bangkok and their taste in fashion? My goodness. I could live there!

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Anyway, I’m loving how my sense in fashion has evolved into a mature version of cute. Haha. I don’t know how you call it, but I like the change. Hope you noticed it, too! :P I can’t wait to show you more of my “mature yet cute” looks in the next few posts. Thanks to my sponsors! <3

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Hit or Miss?

Last December, I applied for an internship in Savannah, Georgia. It was an internship for the first six months in SAV and Snowmass, Colorado for the second half of the year. After I got back from my internship in Florida, I knew that I wanted to go back and there was nothing I wanted more. I asked for signs, prayed and wished that He would lead me to the right place, and if I got qualified, I knew I was destined to go back.

And I did. I got in.

So if you may ask me, why am I still here? Yes, I got the sign. I got what I initially wanted, but I turned it down. Why? It was because I knew God knows that I wanted it so bad for only one reason. Since I asked for it, even if it wasn’t meant to be, He gave it to me so I’d feel satisfied.

Have you ever thought why God gives you something that isn’t meant to last? Trust me when I say I learned it the hard way: He would give it to you because He knows how much you wanted it, more so if you earned it yourself. He would give it to you because He knows it would make you feel satisfied, even for just a bit. Even if He knows it would hurt much more when He tries to take it away again from you because He has better plans. He gives you something that isn’t meant to be with an expiration date, because He knows that you’d take it even if it comes with a bittersweet ending. You’d take it because you know it’s worth the pain that comes with it. But He gives it to you because He knows you’d come out strong after it, and He knows it would teach you something. He loves you so much to leave you that way, but you’d rise from it, eventually. He gives you all these just so you could appreciate what’s truly for you; and what’s meant to be yours.

It was hard to type “Sorry, sir. But my parents did not allow me to push through with this internship anymore.” through text, and we all know it’s a lie. What more if it was a call— I’d probably stutter the whole time and maybe hit redial to change my decision after five minutes or less. I thought about it for days. I prayed, hoped that it would be the right decision, that even if God let me and gave me this internship (that out of 25-30 applicants, it was just 4 of us who were qualified— yes, thanks, I heard an applause. Kidding) because He knew how it would make me happy. In the long run, where would I pick myself up again when I get back from it? An internship isn’t a guarantee that the host company would absorb you in their team. They needed an intern because they only need a helping hand in the peak season. They wouldn’t make me a regular because they would pay me so much more, sponsor me and fix my papers, etc. Why get me when they could get a local with less hassle? After all, I wasn’t after working for someone. I don’t see myself working for a hotel or resort. I see myself working and building my own dreams. I see myself as the owner and the boss, not someone else’s servant, and not building someone else’s dreams. I was just after one thing— and it was something that’s priceless, and I’ve never wanted something this bad, and that was the only reason why I wanted to go back.

I was longing for the times I could go out, munch on pizza any time I want, eat Ben and Jerry’s at 3 in the morning, drive miles because I wanted good company, buy drinks at Walmart just because the longest work hours happened to be during 4th of July, watch Netflix and sleep at 5 in the morning. I wanted so bad to escape my comfort zone, because let’s face it, nothing ever grows there. I must go out to see where I belong, where I needed to be.

So after thousands of prayers bombarded in heaven, my mom suddenly entered my room, waking me up and saying she booked me a flight to the US which was 3 weeks before my departure date. She knew I turned down an offer, and even if I got a “Do you want an internship in another hotel in SAV, and you’ll be staying there for a year?” text from this agency that I turned down for the second time, she knew I question myself if I made the right decision and the flight back to the US was answer to the questions in my head. 

I flew alone. I flew where I only knew about 3-4 people in this state. Everything feels the same. I got to find myself, I got to answer a few questions. One of them was just simply unrequited love- and it was good to suffice the other 439483375 questions I had in me.

Going back after my 3-week stay, I couldn’t help but still pray and say thank you. That even if it ended bittersweet, I got to say, “Hey, I gave you my all. I turned down 2 job opportunities, spent money and time to see you because I know you wouldn’t care even if I could have been a 7-hr drive away. I wanted you to feel that you were worth it. That you were worth the pain even if I know I’d lose you for the second time around, and God gave me this opportunity even it would hurt more because He knew how much I wanted this. He loves me so much to see myself get hurt again. But the ball is in your hands now. I can finally say, I’m done.”

Never a Plan B

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Top from Mango, skirt from Bangkok, shoes from Shoe Box.

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I’ve been reading articles lately, Thought Catalog to name it. It has becoming a habit, so let me share some I’ve learned and were glued in my head.

"Don’t make someone a priority when you’re only an option"

Sometimes, you need to draw the line from determination from desperation. To be honest, I’ve gone way beyond the border line, but then I remember, if someone truly loves me and sees my efforts, then I wouldn’t be fighting for a spot in his life. He’d put me in there. No hesitations. No questions asked.

Remember, you don’t need someone to make you feel loved. You need to just love yourself to make you feel whole, and when you come to a point that you’re full of so much love for yourself, that’s the only time when you can share this “excess” love for others. :)

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Stepping Up

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Blogging has always been a passion, and believe it or not (I may have said this a thousand times before!) that I’ve been blogging since ‘05 in Xanga. That’s 11 years of work, folks! Haha! But anyway, fashion blogging circa started 2010… so yes, I call it a passion. It’s hard when you’re sometimes lazy to dress up aka me who leaves the house in just sweater, shorts and flats PLUS an unmade face + hair. I’m not your usual fashion blogger. I go out in flats— while most of them wear a Herve Leger dress and sky high heels to the mall. I’m not pointing at anyone, but two thumbs up to those who manage to look good everyday, and it’s something I know I can’t do to save my life. Haha! Weird to say I like being myself aka in lazy clothes sometimes. But then, I may be inconsistent in blogging and all that, but I’m trying! If these dolls can, I sure can to! So here’s one of those days when I decided that I should at least step up a bit!

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Top from Bangkok, shorts from Charlotte Russe, pouch from SM Dept. Store, oxfords from ROMWE

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I recently went to Bangkok. Sadly it was a business trip not a leisure one, so I can’t show any touristy photos. :( I first went there when I was 9, so it’s been YEARS since then! A lot has changed, I remember their airport’s not as developed unlike today. I loved it there! I spent so much time roaming around Platinum Mall and oh my goodness, it felt as if I raided every clothing there was! I love Asian fashion so it felt as if everything was made for me! :) So here, you guessed it right. I got this top for only 100 Baht! Where on earth can you find a P140 ($3.5) top?! It felt like heaven as I pulled out cash from my wallet! Lol.

What do you think of my outfit? :)

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I’M. SO. BACK.

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Top and vest from China, clutch from SM Dept Store, and shoes from ROMWE.

Let’s start June right, shall we? 4 months of hiatus doesn’t seem right. HELLO, WORLD! Yes, I am so back to blogging. I’ve been a terrible blogger for 2014, but I promise to keep up with my backlogs plus my travel posts. I know I owe you A LOT! I’ve been traveling since the start of 2013 and how am I supposed to keep up with that?! Haha. Anyway, for now, I’ll be back to fashion blogging and I’ll be queuing some travel posts left and right to help me get back in track :)

These were taken yesterday when I went all around Metro Manila. Lol. No, not really. Just around Makati and Manila. I had to meet up with a client yesterday, hence the “serious” outfit yet something sexy detail at the back. For my old readers, you know how I like to keep it fun. After that, we headed to Superb Bazaar at SMX to revamp my whole wardrobe that hasn’t been touched since forever. I kid! Haha. Such great finds, I tell you. But I was on a budget, so I had to leave the place empty handed. Well, bazaar season isn’t really over since they’ll be popping left and right ‘til Christmas!

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These oxfords are my new love! I manage to walk in heels, too! Haha. I am a sucker for oxfords so imagine my smile when I got these in the mail! I tell ya, I pooped rainbows and unicorns! :)

Well, I hope you had a greaaaat Sunday! :) I’ll be updating this from now on *fingers crossed* so hope you all keep in touch and keep visiting! <3